Parental OPRs

Being an at home mom (who is not home much) is far from easy as you know. Constant teaching, vigilance for safety issue, explaining and answering the same concept a million times, endless loads of laundry, and the demands of being a short order chef. We teach manners and language skills, math, criticial thinking, global awareness, generosity of spirit, determination and confidence. Really everything and anything! Yet beyond payments of hugs and kisses (which are priceless) there are no promotions or award ceremonies to recognize all our hard work. There are no quarterly reviews or monetary bonuses. There are no Officer Performance Reviews (OPR) like the military gives. There are no plaques on my wall to mark where I've been with the boys and what we've accomplished - nursing, two-wheelers, homework, new vegetables. So moms rely on other people's feedback or the comments of strangers in the produce section of Wal-Mart. A good friend will be the one who watches your kids and tells you the good and the bad about their behavior and she'll watch them again for you willingly. But still...you wonder if all your time and effort sinks into their minds and hearts. Will they turn out to be good adults and honor the world around them? Will they be strong of faith and of conviction? Will they be kind? Will they be honest and make decisions based on what is right but not necessarily the easiest? Will they share the love that you have given to them?

Out of the blue last week, Ryan gave me an OPR that I cherish deeply in my heart. We had recently learned of a former military family that had a huge need for baby items and decided to donate some of the gear we still had in the attic. Both boys heard our discussions and chimed in with what they thought we could help with. Ryan then quietly added, "I want to use some of my Christmas gift money to buy something for the baby." Did my ears really hear that? My first inclination was to tell Ryan he didn't have to use his money for that, but my mind processed quickly enough that I was able to keep my mouth closed. Why discourage him for being so incrediably generous?! Oh my joyful heart! We happened to be going to Toys R Us the next day so it was decided that he would look for something there. It was quite the choice for him to make...did he get something he liked as a baby? How much did he want to spend? Up and down the aisles until he chose a stacking ring similiar to the one he used to love. The receiving family will never know how much love and thought went into that simple gift but there was so much of Ryan that went into the process. Oh I am so proud of him that I could just burst! I know I make tons of parenting mistakes but at least I am not completely harming him - WHEW. I'll take that over a raise and a promotion anyday.